Let's Talk.
Do you understand how therapeutic a good "ugly cry" is?
It's a huge release of emotions you've been holding in.
And tonight, I did something I haven't in a long time.
Tonight, I sat in my car and sobbed.
I sobbed my damn eyes out.
I cried for my broken body.
I cried for my weary spirit.
I cried because basically, and in the most polite words - 2020 has kicked me right in the teeth.
I get so exhausted.
I get so frustrated.
Most days it feels like there isn't anything left to give.
And that's because sometimes, there isn't.
And you know what?
That is okay.
Cause life is really hard sometimes.
Of course there are good days! And for those I'm grateful. And when the good outweighs the bad, even better. But the bad days can outweigh the good just as quickly.
It's an ongoing struggle, an continuous journey, and as long as I live I know this is a battle I'll have to fight.
But if anything, keep the following in mind:
It is okay to have those moments of solitude where all you can do is let the tears out.
It is okay to feel tired.
It is okay to question things.
To feel emotions & let them crash over you.
It is okay to need a minute to regroup and collect yourself.
But it is not okay to suffer alone.
It is not okay to lose hope.
It is not okay to give up.
And people, I'm preaching to the choir here. Cause damnit anyways, that is so hard not to do.
Because giving up can be so extremely tempting.
There are days where I can barely brush my hair.
Where the thought of taking off my makeup is the worst possible thing I could be doing.
Where the thought of eating is out of the question.
There are days where I want to just succumb to the silence and feel numb and stay in bed all day.
Some days, every piece of me wants to stop.
My body fails me. My mental capacity lacks. My heart is heavy.
But I'm here.
I'm out in the trenches.
I may not be fighting 100%. But I'm fighting.
Even if it's the smallest piece of me, I am still fighting.
It is a choice to keep fighting.
Choose to fight. Choose to struggle on.
Fighting and struggling is okay.
If you're fighting, it means there is something at stake.
You are worth fighting for.
& I will fight for myself.
Have grace for those moments where you need to hideout in your car.
Like I said, it's okay to not be okay.
And, more importantly, it is okay to need help.
There is no shame in needing help.
It is okay to need medication.
I do.
It is okay to if you're leaning on your people.
I am.
It is okay if you can't do it by yourself.
I can't.
So - the fight goes on. You might get another few ugly cries from me. You might see the bags under my eyes grow. You might be there for a good day. You might be there for a bad one.
But most importantly, I will be there - because I will carry on.
Normalize taking care of your mental health. Be real with your struggle. Check on your people. Choose grace & kindness. Lord knows, we all just might need a little bit of that.
If you're struggling and you need someone, let them know cause chances are - they need you too.
It's a huge release of emotions you've been holding in.
And tonight, I did something I haven't in a long time.
Tonight, I sat in my car and sobbed.
I sobbed my damn eyes out.
I cried for my broken body.
I cried for my weary spirit.
I cried because basically, and in the most polite words - 2020 has kicked me right in the teeth.
I get so exhausted.
I get so frustrated.
Most days it feels like there isn't anything left to give.
And that's because sometimes, there isn't.
And you know what?
That is okay.
Cause life is really hard sometimes.
Of course there are good days! And for those I'm grateful. And when the good outweighs the bad, even better. But the bad days can outweigh the good just as quickly.
It's an ongoing struggle, an continuous journey, and as long as I live I know this is a battle I'll have to fight.
But if anything, keep the following in mind:
It is okay to have those moments of solitude where all you can do is let the tears out.
It is okay to feel tired.
It is okay to question things.
To feel emotions & let them crash over you.
It is okay to need a minute to regroup and collect yourself.
But it is not okay to suffer alone.
It is not okay to lose hope.
It is not okay to give up.
And people, I'm preaching to the choir here. Cause damnit anyways, that is so hard not to do.
Because giving up can be so extremely tempting.
There are days where I can barely brush my hair.
Where the thought of taking off my makeup is the worst possible thing I could be doing.
Where the thought of eating is out of the question.
There are days where I want to just succumb to the silence and feel numb and stay in bed all day.
Some days, every piece of me wants to stop.
My body fails me. My mental capacity lacks. My heart is heavy.
But I'm here.
I'm out in the trenches.
I may not be fighting 100%. But I'm fighting.
Even if it's the smallest piece of me, I am still fighting.
It is a choice to keep fighting.
Choose to fight. Choose to struggle on.
Fighting and struggling is okay.
If you're fighting, it means there is something at stake.
You are worth fighting for.
& I will fight for myself.
Have grace for those moments where you need to hideout in your car.
Like I said, it's okay to not be okay.
And, more importantly, it is okay to need help.
There is no shame in needing help.
It is okay to need medication.
I do.
It is okay to if you're leaning on your people.
I am.
It is okay if you can't do it by yourself.
I can't.
So - the fight goes on. You might get another few ugly cries from me. You might see the bags under my eyes grow. You might be there for a good day. You might be there for a bad one.
But most importantly, I will be there - because I will carry on.
Normalize taking care of your mental health. Be real with your struggle. Check on your people. Choose grace & kindness. Lord knows, we all just might need a little bit of that.
If you're struggling and you need someone, let them know cause chances are - they need you too.
Comments
Post a Comment